It is Ryan 12th Birthday

My grandson Ryan turned 12 today and I am not with him. I have been at his first 11 birthdays but not this one. Cindy my daughter, Ryan's mother, tells me it is ok he has plenty of birthdays and no big deal it is not one of the great ones. But I have been around the the birth of my two oldest grandchildren even cutting the umbilical cord. The next two I was there within a couple hours (they were not living with me anymore) but still there. I am lonely for Ryan, oh he is a real boy and certainly does not need his nana but I need him. When they lived across the street in a bigger house than mine, I could watch Ryan riding his bike, skateboard, scooter or whatever was in that year. Lauren is home but I feel my grandchildren and Children benefit being near their parents. Kids are happier when they have the extended family. Talk about extended families, when all of us lived in California, one Christmas eve we all went to Cindy's home. In my car I had my sister, Paula, Jose, Clint, Lauren, John and myself. At Cindy's was her father, my ex, his wife Kelly, James, Nicole and little Ricky plus Cindy, Jack, Ryan and Samantha. That is an extended family. But for some reason John got mad and was driving down their hill very fast and scared everyone so we will not be doing that again.

I am back on my meds as I have said before and I have no creativity and can not concentrate on anything. But I will keep trying must get my quilting done have a class on Monday and would at least get it cut out.

Brady my doctor thinks there maybe a tear in my knee so Monday early afternoon I have to have a MRI. I just love MRI--lol--I get so frightened but they are going to give me air, wet washcloth and go in backwards so my head sticks out. I hope it works otherwise I will have to go to the hospital for it and they charge so much money.

Well I am hot and must adjust the air conditioner and head to my bedroom. Tomorrow they will be spraying for the huge bugs. I am moving furniture again tomorrow.