As I had stated before this weekend (now over) was my oldest daughter's 40th birthday. Julianne is so much like me sometimes it is noisy and reminisced of my kids growing up. A lot of noise and hard for 5 people to make decisions. And of course you should raise your hand to be heard otherwise you really don't get heard. But it was wonderful having Julianne here. Having her visiting so much is so great now. It seems through Lauren gets a different attitude when her mom is here. Talks back to me and is grumpy with Julianne. And it is a lot for John to deal with too. Everyone wants me on their side forgetting I have a side too. I don't always agree with anyone the truth is I never agree with anyone.
I have been working on a flying geese quilt for my husband for the summer, it is really light not like his winter one which is really heavy. Now aren't you glad I explained that. John doesn't really like color and it seems very dull but I am here to please. I made a flying geese quilt just black and white and it is gorgeous if I say so myself, I am so worried about quilting it because I might ruin it. I want to give it to a friend of Julianne and myself who just lost her husband. Makes me think about my losses: Linda, my mom and Ron my brother, aunt Marge and her son Bret. Being next to my boss 16 years ago when a man killed with 6 shots to his face. Julianne's husband died of a heart attack in 1994 which is the same year as my boss and Ron. Crazy year. My grandparents were around my whole childhood and on into my adult years, They were around for mine and my sister's children. My brothers children Jake and Nick were raised by their mother who is a gold digger. The only great-grandparent they visited with was the Davis' because they had money. And kissed her ass. And of course when she died she left them the same share I got. My grandmother was so fair--yea right. She could never tell when someone was kissing her butt she just thought everyone loved her so much. Bull shit-My sister and Julianne are the only ones who really loved her just for her. Grandmother was maliputive, talked behind peoples backs. When someone we both knew died she wouldn't tell me because she didn't want anyone taking the love away from her. The love was already gone.
My husband just came in with his stupid statements. It is Sunday night and he wants to know when the garbage goes out. I tell him tomorrow then he gets mad because he doesn't know if that means it gets picked up tomorrow or goes out tomorrow. We have been living here over 5 years and every Monday I fight with John because he can't remember. He doesn't remember anything and it eats at me more every year more and more. It just brings me to tears. He gets mad and says I either didn't answer him or I never told him. If it wasn't for my grandchildren I don't know if I could continue, it just seems everything in my life is getting harder and harder.
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